These words by Cleo Wade are my inspiration for 2020. It’s not just a new year or a new decade. It can be a new way of being. The numerological year is 4– a focus on motivation and making things happen. So what do you want to make happen?
I realize now that what I want to make happen has been more than three years in the making, perhaps closer to five. I spent several years torn, ripped at my proverbial seams by my efforts to live for reputation and ego and not for my purpose. I stayed in a marriage too long, drawing out and increasing the pain for us both in an effort to show that I could stay married. I conducted studies that didn’t inspire me and that I ultimately failed to do–because I was trying to do them the way that I thought academia would want instead of the way I was compelled to do them. I took on hobbies to win accolades and escape the reality that I was not being true to myself. And, all the while, I was advocating best-self love and care. I was quietly committing my heart to my dreams by dedicating time to my yoga practice, to learning about nutrition and wellness, to writing and journaling again as I had done in my youth because it called to me and healed the pain of spreading myself so thin–body, mind, and soul–in order to feed my ego and hide my pain. I could glimpse those heavenly spots of Wade’s but I was too drained and conflicted to share them fully.
Well. No more.
I am claiming my purpose and not just for the new year, but for my new life. I left that marriage. I quit studying what and how others said I should. I released all the distractions. I am going all-in on the heavenly spots and sharing them with the world. That’s my inspiration and my purpose.
Still looking for yours? Notice what inspires you and what you are drawn to in the quiet moments. That is you, not your ego. That’s where the heavenly spots lay waiting to be shared.