Finding Heavenly Spots

“I FOUND THE HEAVENLY SPOTS AND SHOWED

MY NEIGHBORS WHERE THEY WERE.”¬†

These words by Cleo Wade are my inspiration for 2020. It’s not just a new year or a new decade. It can be a new way of being. The numerological year is 4– a focus on motivation and making things happen. So what do you want to make happen?

I realize now that what I want to make happen has been more than three years in the making, perhaps closer to five. I spent several years torn, ripped at my proverbial seams by my efforts to live for reputation and ego and not for my purpose. I stayed in a marriage too long, drawing out and increasing the pain for us both in an effort to show that I could stay married. I conducted studies that didn’t inspire me and that I ultimately failed to do–because I was trying to do them the way that I thought academia would want instead of the way I was compelled to do them. I took on hobbies to win accolades and escape the reality that I was not being true to myself. And, all the while, I was advocating best-self love and care. I was quietly committing my heart to my dreams by dedicating time to my yoga practice, to learning about nutrition and wellness, to writing and journaling again as I had done in my youth because it called to me and healed the pain of spreading myself so thin–body, mind, and soul–in order to feed my ego and hide my pain. I could glimpse those heavenly spots of Wade’s but I was too drained and conflicted to share them fully.

Well. No more.

I am claiming my purpose and not just for the new year, but for my new life. I left that marriage. I quit studying what and how others said I should. I released all the distractions. I am going all-in on the heavenly spots and sharing them with the world. That’s my inspiration and my purpose.

Still looking for yours? Notice what inspires you and what you are drawn to in the quiet moments. That is you, not your ego. That’s where the heavenly spots lay waiting to be shared.

 

 

 

My Soul Songs: Look Up

You seek answers.

You seek healing.

You pray for hope, for signs to follow.
Stop crying for your angels.

Stop begging for mercy.

Stop looking where you’ve already been.
Just look up.

There it is.

The light of God is already there.
Receive the warmth.

Receive the glory.

Receive this new day as a gift for the taking.
Be assured.

Be thankful.

Be one who stays in the light.
Just look up.

There it is.

The light of God is already there.

My Soul Songs #15

I’m going to make mistakes sometimes.

I might even lose my way.

But I keep going.
I’m going to fail sometimes.

I might even cry.

But I keep trying.
I’m going to ¬†fall sometimes.

I might even hurt.

But I keep rising.
I’m going to be scared sometimes.

I might even falter.

But I keep singing.
This is my soul song, and mine alone. And it must be sung.

From the Ice

Glistening, gleaming,
Glinting white,
Guiding Godlight.
Help me find my way.

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me.*

Slipping, sliding,img_0007
Seeking strength and
Scared to fall.
Help me find my way.

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me.

Hurting, hoping,
Hearing songs of
Healing angels.
Help me find the way.

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me.

Glistening, gleaming,
Seeking strength from
Healing angels.
I find my way.

Lead me, guide me, walk beside. Help me find the way.

 

 

 

*These words are taken from a song that got me through every childhood fear and comforts me still, “I Am a Child of God” from the Latter Day Saints Children’s Songbook and Hymnal (Randall, N.W., 1957)

My Soul Songs #1

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Take these wings and learn to fly.

I already am all I hope to be.

My best self is with me at all times.

I am open to unfolding and revealing

my beautiful wings.

The’ve always been there.

I was just afraid to stand out and reveal

my greatness.

For when one soars, one risks falling.

Still, I choose to soar.

I already am all I hope to be.

My best self is with me

and she is ready to fly.