My Soul Songs: All I Was and All I Am

All I Was and All I Am

I thought all I was, all I had going for me, was being smart. At school, I had an identity and an escape. No one knew anything else of me or my life.

Then I learned that I was strong. I overcame illness and wowed everyone with my gymnastics and my spirit.

And when I prayed I knew I was happy. I knew I wasn’t like so many I saw around me. My energy was different. Silver linings filled my view and hope filled my heart.

My tear-stained pillow would be replaced with a bed of my own making. I ventured out to find my place in this world and I found myself.

I wasn’t “the pretty one.” I wasn’t “the creative one.” I wasn’t “the funny one.” I certainly wasn’t “the popular one.”

That’s okay.

I was so much more.

If I was to be just “one” I wanted to be “the joyful one.” But I realized none of us is one-dimensional.

I had to be shown my own reflection in the hearts and healers who came into my life over the years.

I had to help others find out who they were and what made them special before I truly knew how special I was.

Through prayer I learned I am loved and loving.

Through friendship I learned that I am a listener and I am heard.

Through work I leaned that I have both heart and mind to contribute equally.

Through illness I learned that I am beautiful and brave and won’t be beaten.

Through loss I learned that I am free to live this one life with all I have, to hold nothing back.

Through it all I learned to be true to all I am. I am so much more than smart. I am not just strong. I am blessed.

I head into 2018 knowing with all my heart that I am beautiful and brave and strong and true and free. I choose to live as I am for all of my days. I have so much to give and to receive. Blessed be. IMG_0187